you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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