So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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