she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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