Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
