it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
