the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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