Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
