So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
