Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
