I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
