Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
