You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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