I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
