i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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