theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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