Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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