if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
