**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
