I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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