He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
