please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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