im drinking this country out of the recession.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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