there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
