I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
