Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I deserve this hangover.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
