anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
