So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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