Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
