Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we should paint friendship bongs
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
