k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
