Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
