So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he thought i was a dude.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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