So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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