Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
