i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
