New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
