I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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