sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
