I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
MIDGETS
????
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
