You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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