What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
