Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
