And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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