Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
