You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
