My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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