No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
