you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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