This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
