also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
